Announcing the new book(s)!

At long last, Variant has given the official okey-dokey to announce two new books.

You've all probably noticed I hardly ever update the blog. It's not for lack of interest. I just tend to think better in big chunks rather than incrementally (short attention span theater...).  

 What He Wants: His Seven Secret Spanking Desires

Many readers who have used the techniques in the first two books to get their partner to spank them have written to me requesting a follow up book that talks about what happens after that first spanking. They want to know how they turn one spanking into a lifetime of satisfying spankings in the context of a committed relationship.

What He Wants is the beginning of answering that question, by talking about how to make sure that your partner gets what HE wants out of spanking you -- so he'll be more excited about doing it more often.

The official release date for What He Wants is September 15, but you can pre-order the book on the Variant website and save a couple bucks at the same time.       Book is now available!  Click below to order.

Stay tuned for an excerpt when I get a bit more time to post one!

You can get more information about pre-ordering What He Wants by clicking here.

And there's a second new book, The Little Book of Spanking Stories, a small collection of spanking fiction written by yours truly.

Back when I was a struggling young person making my way in the world, a friend of mine suggested to me that I should write erotica. There was good money in it, she said, and a reliable market.

I took her at her word, and began writing stories about what I found most erotic – the world of pleasure and pain, dominance and submission. In the pre-internet era, the market for stories of any kind was magazines, and I was fortunate enough to have my stories published in some prestigious publications, including Roy Turner’s iconic British magazine Domina, and the Australian spanking magazine, Paddles.

It was only years later, when I mentioned to my friend that I’d taken her advice and written erotica to support myself during those early years, that I discovered that when she’d suggested, “erotica,” she’d meant Harlequin romance novels, not actual erotica stories.

It’s a misunderstanding that served me well, as writing erotica stories for magazines with readers around the world all those years ago was one of many elements that helped me to deepen my understanding of the spanking and discipline fantasies and desires that I explore in my nonfiction books.

The stories in this little book are a few of my favorites from that time in my life – some of them published long ago in magazines that are now out of print, others published here for the first time.

You can get more information about The Little Book of Spanking Stories by clicking here.




  1. I don't suppose this post might mean you may come back to regular blogging? I read a lot of blogs over time back when, buts yours above anything else influenced me to actually bring up the subject of domestic discipline to my partner, since you provided a refreshing view from a progressive and feminist point. Suffice to say my life and our relationship improved immensely because of it

  2. Thanks for the compliment!

    I think for me the problem is that I don't think in regular increments required to maintain a blog. I tend to be a spurt writer, which lends itself more to the occasional book.

    But I'd like to try to blog more again -- part of it is coming up with topics. Maybe readers could suggest topics, which might help inspire posts!


  3. Just discovered your blog. Very interesting. I love and appreciate your honesty. I'll be following closely.

  4. I like you have come from an abusive relationship. Im in a 15 year relationship with a wonderful man who never raises his hand to me. I am not the perfect person and have disrespect issues, ive been dishonest to get what I want, I throw tantrums I get emotional and all rational gets thrown out the window. Ive been looking into dd for a few months. Trying to do my homework on this. I started to talk to him about this then I read something on a different blog and started running scared. I'm hoping maybe you could help me with this. The site I was on was the spanked wifes photo blog. The topic was the difference between a maintenance and a discipline spanking. Is this really what dd is or is this domestic violence hiding behind dd. I really want to try this but to me that looked a little to harsh. I'm confused because you read how it brings people closer together whereas after reading that and seeing the pics on there I don't think i'd be able to not be afraid after something like that. For years we have had spanking for play but if that is real then I don't think that would be for me. Whats your thought on this? Thankyou for any light you can shine for me on this topic. I feel like i'm drowning in darkness and don't know where to turn.

  5. Unknown Darkness,

    There is a big difference between DD and abuse (see what I think is the very first post on this blog). DD shouldn't scare you in a way that feels unsafe. Just like parental discipline for a child shouldn't scare the child, but should make the child feel safe and loved and cared for, that's how a good DD relationship works, too.

    A lot of what you see on the web in terms of photos, etc. like on Spanked Wives is porn, not real DD, and it's intended mostly for men who are not specifically into DD, but rather into harder-core stuff.

    DD can be anything you want it to be, as long as you have a partner you love and trust and can communicate with.

    If you want to talk more, feel free to email me at


  6. Anonymous17:27

    If you have been together for 15 years, you probably know if you feel safe with him or trust him. This is, I would think, a very safe situation. He is not someone who has been just dying to hit his woman for no good reason. My husband did not come into our relationship wanting to spank me. And when I told him I wanted a traditional relationship he just about drove the car off the road. It took him years to get used to punishing me. So, because of that, I never worried that he was going to go overboard. What he does like is the power it gives him to stop me when I'm behaving badly. In our case, I think it was he who was in abusive relationships in the past, where his girlfriends would go hysterical all over him and he felt powerless to do anything about it. Now he sends me to my room -- or out to the car -- the minute I start to sound disrespectful and he feels empowered for the first time.

    If you are able to communicate your needs to your partner and you know that he listens and cares, then you probably don't have to worry that his spanking you will become abusive. When my husband spanks me, he doesn't ask me which paddle I want, or when to stop, but he does pay attention to what I'm going through. He knows the difference between humiliated crying and 'oh, wait, I think something is not right.'

    He is a fair minded person and I am always secure in that even when I think I'm right and he's wrong. The most "abuse" that I have to endure, then, is sometimes getting a spanking when I was sure I was right! That can be humiliating, but I weigh it against the happiness we both have in our relationship and I think the occasional "wrongful punishment" (my opinion) is not such a bad price to pay. He is so amazed that I will obey him that I confess I get some vicarious enjoyment from it.

  7. Anonymous08:43

    To Unknown darkness,

    I am the author of aspankedwifesphotoblog (and I also read this blog :)). I read your reaction to my husband's way of disciplining me. In truth, my husband has crawled into DD from the slightest pats on my bottom to where we are today (which is different from where we were when that post was written).

    He is adapting to my needs while I am adapting to his. We talk and talk and talk and talk some more so as to understand each other and our needs as we grow in DD and our relationship.

    Yes, my husband is strict with discipline spankings but that's because it's what I need and what I have asked for.

    On the other hand he never spanks me for anything unless it is a glaring issue like it will just about kill either one of us. We're working on that.

    The bottom line about DD is that each couple adapts to the needs of each other. Each couple is different and so are their needs. NEVER compare yourself to others. Learn what you can that fits your needs from others. That's what we do.

    You may want to see my newest post which is about abuse vs DD in a relationship.