New book: How to Get the Spanking You Want

...asking for it, getting it & making it better.... the first e-book by Vivian....

Here's how it all happened...

Several months ago, I was contacted by the people over at Variant Books, (they're a brand-new e-book imprint from a publishing company). Apparently, they're fans of The Disciplined Feminist and asked me if I'd consider writing a book for them.

At first, I thought the idea was crazy. I do enjoy writing about the subject of DD and spanking, but had never really considered doing an e-book about it -- and wasn't even sure I had anything "bookworthy" to say that I hadn't said already here on the blog.

Then I gave some thought to my life history on this subject, much of which I haven't shared with readers of the blog since it didn't directly relate to the articles I've posted.

But when I actually thought back, I realized I'd spent over 23 years (yikes!) negotiating my way through various types of spanking and DD relationships -- at all ages and life stages and with partners at all ages and life stages. I've spent the last ten years of my "real life" doing professional-level academic research on the psychology of gender roles and archetypes for various books, films, academic studies and other projects. Add in the three years during this blog where, largely because of that research and because of the particularly challenging relationship I have with my current partner I've questioned many of the assumptions that I and others have made about this very unique lifestyle we've chosen, and I started to think maybe I did have something valuable to say.

Plus, given the post-election lull and my strong desire not to have do anything that requires leaving my little mountain hideaway, and my current ambivalence about jumping back into the political fray, and the issue that we've discussing on the blog about the importance of career-related work that's separate from my partner, I thought, why not give the book idea a whirl?

I also thought about the emails I get virtually every week from people asking me for spanking advice. And since many of you know first-hand how slow I am at answering emails (largely because my email time is so limited and my little dial-up connection is so slow), I thought perhaps writing this book would be a great way to answer some of those emails in a more complete and accessible way.

So when asked me for book topic suggestions, I immediately thought of "How to Get the Spanking You Want." Of all the emails I get asking for advice, well over half of them are from women (and some men) who want their husband or boyfriend to spank them, but don't know how to ask, and this question seems to pop up a lot on spanking and DD forums, too.

What's more, when I did a search online for the best advice out there for people who want their partners to spank them, I was actually pretty horrified at what I found. A lot of it seemed pretty flaky, and even worse, dangerous and likely to backfire on the unsuspecting sub who tries it!

Well, when all was said and done, we wound up with a contract for a two-book series. So...

I'm happy to announce the upcoming release of "How to Get the Spanking You Want: The Complete Guide to Asking for it, Getting It & Making It Better," and the companion guide, "How to Give a Spanking: (sub title still under construction)".

"How to Get the Spanking You Want" is available now, and "How to Give a Spanking" will be available June 30. You can get more information and a copy of "How to Give a Spanking" at (7/3/09: Vivian's updated note: For those of you who have emailed me, I'm a bit behind in turning in the manuscript for the second book, but am working on it and will have it available end of July latest -- and probably earlier than that!)

At any rate, I'm actually very happy with the way the project is turning out. I hope when all is said and done it will be a valuable resource for anyone looking for information on how to initiate a conversation about spanking with a partner.

Stay tuned here for all the latest updates on this strange new venture!


PS -- And for those of you who are wondering, the answer is, no, that's not me on the cover... :-)

UPDATE June 7, 2009:

You can read an excerpt of "How to Get the Spanking You Want" at Uncle Agony, All Things Spanking, Spankoz, and a reader review of the book at Brambleberry Blush blog.